Never for Nothing
by Tsunderellah
Summary: "Can I ask you to carry me down from the bedroom to the sofa in the living room every day for the next month? Then, I'll sign whatever you want." That deal was too good to pass up. It was such a simple job, and then I can be free of her and be with Rena.I told her that it was a deal. I never thought how much I would regret it. (Fem!)Chung x Raven, Raven x Rena


_**I hate school. I've never been so busy in my life. Worry not, folks. Gunpowder Perfume update is in the works, but as per usual, I'm writer-blocked by stress and Shonen-Ai animes. (KYAAAAAAAAAAAH~! JUNJOUUUUU ROMANTICAAAAAAAAAAA) Seriously. Expect the update in a week or two. I think. I'm bad with dates. (TAKE NOTE OF IT)**_

_**This is just a random two-shot piece that just wouldn't leave me alone. Soez. **_

_**And also, this is a sadfic. People with overactive tearducts, beware. **_

**_...jkjk. I suck at sadfics._**

**_..._**

_**Lots of love, **_

_**Llah~**_

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**The castles that we made were swept by the tide and washed away,**  
**And now the sunsets have all gone.**

**_-Still in Love_ by Jason Chen**

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I woke up to the rain pouring down ceaselessly from the grey skies. The alarm clock that was supposed to have woken me up an hour ago ticked silently, the movements of the seconds-hand pattering rhythmically with the drizzle. The duvet covered my entire body, the fluffy material cocooning me in some sort of safe haven- yet I still felt chilled. Perhaps it was because the space beside me was empty.

I haven't touched her side at all. Everything was still in the same state as she had left it- the creases on her pillow was still there, and the scent of her shampoo lingered. Even that bear I gave her on our first date stared back at me with a condemning look, blaming me for all the mistakes I made- for missing all the signs. I only noticed when it was too late. A twinge of pain wracked my body; a painful lurch in my heart brought all of the memories of the past year rushing in, like water running through the eaves. Tears were inevitable. Every little thing in this room reminds me of her.

My mind went through all the signs, one by one- meticulously; as if by the even more thorough investigation, it would alleviate the guilt I feel inside. My mind glossed over all the times she disappeared without me noticing- of all the times she came home with her clothes in disarray; of all the shouting, the accusations, and in the end, the divorce.

I buried myself further into the sheets, the salty vessels of my inner turmoil and pain rolling down my face. Had I just…had I loved her like I was supposed to, she could have still been here; next to me.

A tiny voice broke the silent sobs emanating from my shivering form. "Dad, it's almost time for school." Quickly wiping away my distress, and putting on a happy face, I faced the owner of the voice: a small girl with pale silver hair and golden eyes- my eyes, looking at me with sad comprehension written over her pale face- the only characteristic that she inherited from her mother. She slowly climbed up the double mattress, sinking slightly in the fluffy material of the comforter. She wrapped her little arms around me, putting her small head on the crook of my neck, offering her shoulder for me to pour my heart out of.

"You know dad, I'm sure mom won't be happy seeing you cry." She whispered, her small hands patting my hair slowly, comfortingly.

"I don't think your mom will-"I started to blubber out, but she quickly hushed me, telling me to remember; we'll be seeing mom later.

I wiped my tears away and choked down my emotions. I'm a mess of an adult; age thirty-two and my five-year old is comforting me. I flung back the sheets, carrying my daughter- Eve- in my arms, into the kitchen, where I quickly prepared her breakfast and lunch, ignoring the numerous pictures on the fridge of the two of us- my wife and I- happy, in another time.

The two of us ate in silence, occasionally glancing through the kitchen windows, watching lightning roll on the horizon. She was quietly fishing for the red fruit loops from her cereal bowl, shovelling the mixture into her mouth, the soggy bits of so-called carbohydrates dissolving on her tongue. After breakfast, Eve got up from her chair and put on her favourite article of clothing: a long black dress with red buttons. I told her to put on her boots, since I already know that she's going to be jumping around in puddles all day; she declined.

"I don't want to be dirty when we visit mommy." She said as she meticulously put on her dress shoes, the one with the little ribbons on it.

I began to choke up again. I bit my lips to prevent myself from breaking down and crying again, but Eve realised the effect of what she said to me and quickly hugged my legs with her arms, embracing me in the tightest manner possible, and the gesture only succeeding to make me bawl even harder. This anguish was all deserved- I earned this. I had the best life one could possibly have and I went ahead and ruined it.

The devastation began five years ago on a balmy June evening. It was Els's bachelor night. Yes. He was the last one in our friend circle to marry his sweetheart, a certain purple-headed magician with _tsundere_-like tendencies. The bachelor party swept through town, tossing bill after bill in bars, getting drunk and generally having fun-or at least as much fun as a bunch of drunk men could have. We stumbled into a particular bar. It was unpretentious, quiet and pretty empty, save for a couple of university students, some saucily-dressed women, and a lot of old men leering at the 'women'. We sat down at a table, not even bothering to look at the menu. We were planning on ordering the entire drinks menu- and were going to drink-and-dash, but Allegro, the only sober one, refused to. A waitress then approached us, and I remember-even though I would have never admitted it then- being attracted to her; at least sexually. She was blond, with silk-like mermaid hair up in a pony-tail. She was wearing a green baggy shirt, with a fluorescent pink undershirt. She sweetly asked us what we wanted, and chuckled lightly when we placed our order. She disappeared into the kitchen, only emerging to bring us jugs of beer, bottles of wine and vodka, and a variety of cocktails. I, through my drunken state, noticed how well-mixed my drink was, and decided to complement her on her bartending abilities. She thanked me with a hearty laugh, and we began to talk.

Her name was Rena Archer, a waitress at that unimportant bar, at that unimportant time. It was quite obvious that I was attracted to her. She was cheerful, gorgeously sexy, and had great conversation skills; she laughed at my jokes, nodded her head when appropriate- she was the perfect waitress. I didn't think much of her at that moment, though; after all I was already married. I've been married for three years to the woman I love, and she was home with our unborn child, waiting for me.

After being ferried off by Good Guy Allegro, I dragged myself up the stairs to my apartment that night, unlocking the door as quietly as I could- my wife was a light-sleeper-and was greeted by the sight of my little wife, sleeping on the couch, curled and with her five-month belly propped up on a pillow. I smiled at such a domestic scene, tossing my jacket on to the coat rack. I touched her face, crouching next to her. She was roused by the simple caress. I watched teal eyes open slowly, unfocused at first, but gradually clearing. She sat up, and a cascade of corn-yellow hair followed her.

"Welcome home, Raven." She whispered, kissing me gently, cringing slightly when she tasted the alcohol on my lips.

I embraced her, my heart overflowing with adoration. "You know you don't have to stay up for me. You could have just gone to bed." I muttered, burying my face within the crook of her neck, silently trying to memorise her scent.

"No. I wanted to wait for you!" She said, shuffling out of my hold, looking me in the eyes with such adorable honestly, I couldn't help but chuckle. She quickly hopped up from her place in the couch, only for get to slump back down again. She laughed.

"I keep forgetting that I'm pregnant." She giggled, getting up again- slowly, this time.

"Chung, for goddess's sake, be careful." I mock-frowned, producing more giggles and laughter from her- though honestly, the way she moved made me worry immensely at times. Compared to other women, she was tiny- only five feet four- and she was swinging around such a huge belly. The doctor assured us that it was only one child, but sometime I wonder if there was some sort of mistake about that.

She waddled to our bedroom, lugging a bag of chips she swiped from the kitchen counter. I shook my head and smiled.

That was when everything was still amazing- when everything made so much sense. Every day was exactly like this: happy and fulfilling. I loved her so deeply and I was sure she loved me just as much. A couple of months later, she gave birth to a small girl with honey eyes and unnatural silver hair- she looked so much like me, the only thing she inherited from her mother was her alabaster skin.

I was the happiest man alive.

We called her Eve. It was only appropriate since her name meant 'life'. She became our lives, our entire world; so much so that as time passed, I noticed that Chung was spending far more time with her, than with me. I felt abandoned by Chung. I mean, of course she would have an attachment to her child- she's a mother after all, but now it's like I don't exist. All she could think of was the baby, and by the end of the day, Chung would be too tired to do anything. Date nights and the like were inevitably postponed. The disintegration of our relationship is not only her fault; my work became more demanding; I became too involved with my work. I was a paralegal specialist for the Elrian military, and my work allowed me flexible work hours, since I could always just work at home. I would go home early at times, to help my wife with the newborn, and she would be immensely grateful- but the blissful times we used to share- just the two of us- was gone. It was replaced by soft teeth-ers, plushies, and howling cries in the middle of the night. Chung became grumpier over time. Every little thing bothered her, and she would snap at the littlest things, which in turn annoyed me relentlessly. We began to fight more, and talk less, our arguments always resulting in me leaving the house for the nearby bar.

It would seem as if the fairy-tale we built before was crumbling right before our eyes.

I began to feel unwanted by her. No matter what I do, no matter how many times I wanted to just him a babysitter and take her out on dates, she refused them. Unrequited love began to eat away at me. I used to be mad for her, but through the years, the love that I used to feel was replaced by a feeling of insecurity. I began to take 'over-time' from work- initially in earnest, but gradually, it became a lie. I went out and stayed out until the wee hours of morning, stinking of bars. Of course, she wouldn't notice, I slept on the couch during those days, and would leave for work even before Eve woke up and summoned for her feeding. I separated myself from her, and before I knew it, three years passed and this cycle was still continuing. The time I spent from home became less and less. I still love my family; I adore my little Eve, but the silence between Chung and I was just unbearable- but I blamed my wife for everything. Unreasonable and immature, but it was all I could do. I convinced myself that I played the perfect husband, and that it was her fault that we're falling so far apart. I bar-hopped with Els more often, drinking myself stupid, to forget about the dull hurt of being unimportant to the most important person in my life.

One night, loitering down downtown Velder, I ended up at the same bar where I encountered Rena. She saw me and immediately recognised me. She playfully asked if I was going to order the menu again, and just like that, she instantly understood my inner turmoil. She was interested to me, giving me the attention that I didn't know I craved so much. At the end of the night, we ended up rolling within the sheets of her bed, locked in a furious need to satisfy our desires. It was thrilling-but it was only supposed to be for one night. On the other hand, I found a safe haven within Rena. I began to look to her for comfort, for love. I found myself falling for another woman that is not my wife-and, as always, I felt that I could rationalize the situation. I needed love, and I found it in Rena. She gave me what I thought my soul was lacking all this time, something that I haven't gotten from Chung from a very long time.

**_This was when everything took a sharp turn. _**

I came home once to Eve being cradled by a total stranger. I asked the lady what she was doing with my child, and she responded that my wife had hired her as a babysitter for the night, since she had to go somewhere. I took over her, my brain in a confused fizzle- but still I did not have any suspicions. Early morning the next day, Chung came home, her clothing dishevelled and a weird, ironical smile on her face.

Only one thing came to my mind.

_She's cheating on me._

Well- I remembered thinking- now, my being with Rena was now justified. I did not tell my wife that I knew she was cheating, but rather- like the way I thought she did with her unknown lover, I continued to love Rena, and emotionally, I left Chung. We kept our worlds separate, the only thing pulling the two ends of our thinning thread together was our beautiful daughter. We lived like this, in separate dimensions and worlds, in the same home- I rarely come home; I just end up sleeping next to Rena most days. She told me that she's also in love with me, and that she had never felt such love for someone as she had for me. Those words rang clear in my heart, firmly locking my attraction to her. I was feeling needed again. So it didn't really come as a surprise when Rena wanted me to divorce Chung. I was thinking of it too; I disliked looking at Rena as if she was merely a mistress on the side. She was beginning to be something more than a simple flash-pan girl to me. I want to give her my love and all of it.

It was at this point that I thought to myself that I did not feel anything for Chung anymore and that to save the both of us from further injuries, this is the best course to take...

**_So then, after making love to Rena I went home and broke Chung's heart._**

"R-Raven..you don't actually…mean that, right…?" She whispered, looking at me with such hollow eyes, with such a pained expression. Eve silently played on the floor, rearranging the blocks on the floor to form a tower.

"I am, Chung. Our relationship is not working. It truly isn't. Look we-"

"I'll try harder, then!" She shouted, tears bursting from her eyes. "I'll do anything. Please, Raven…don't leave me."

"Chung…I-I can't..I have…" I started, my heart cringing heavily at the sight of her tears, but the desire to do everything in my power to wipe them away was no longer there.

"…you have another lover, right?" She muttered, avoiding my eyes.

"And so do you." I retorted, somewhat irked that she said that.

"I-I do not…!" She cried.

"Stop lying, Chung. I know you are." I breathed, trying to calm myself down. If there was anyone I hated, it was liars. "Why else do leave sporadically during the evening? Especially without me knowing?"

She then turned quiet. I thought that I had won- that I had caught her in her own lie- and that fuelled my desire to leave her even more. Left with nothing more to say to her, I informed her that I'll be around tomorrow to bring the papers.

"Raven. Before I sign anything, I have something to ask of you." She suddenly mumbled, clear and loud enough only for me to hear.

"What is it?"

"Yesternight, I sprained my ankle. It's healing under my socks. Can I ask you to carry me down from the bedroom to the sofa in the living room every day for the next month? Then, I'll sign whatever you want."

That deal was too good to pass up. It was just a simple job, and then I can be free of her and be with Rena.

**_I told her that it was a deal. I never thought how much I would regret it._**

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Type something on the review box to make me feel special. QwQ


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